~ so u think you know me?~

LIfe

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 19:19:51 GMT

Well so far is pretty great, i mean it dont suck but its not amazing :(. yesterday was the 4th of july and billy, amanda, jermey and my mom and george and i all went out on the boat. it was fun, we watched fireworks and stuff. i took pictures of dolfins and swam in the river. amanda went toobing and georges boat almost overheated. in the past few months i quit wendys again, i got my GED, billy also. billy works at the movie theater and loves it. we had a puppy (pit bull/ terier) but our other pitt bull wouldnt allow us to keep her :( lol jane's a killer and dont like anything other than us that moves. ummmm amanda moved back into my moms house but sis still with her bf jeremy, even tho she likes my ex.. ish jeremy from wendys. i think shes just afraid to leave the jeremy shes with. well, i guess thats all thes happend in the past few months.

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 00:39:35 GMT

And life takes a turn once again :(. Soon i will be quiting Wendys, and off to a better more sanitary work environment. Abbys pissed at me for ditching her on Monday, we were going to go c happy feet but, i didnt have the money so i went to billys house instead. I went shopping today with my mom and billy, twas fun i guess. Thanksgiving i went with billys family to there friends house and ate, we watched Harold and kumar go to white castle, gotta love that movie :P. i told my mom something today, and she didnt seem to care much, guess we will c how much she cares tomaorw. well the end......

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 05:19:33 GMT

Another day ill live,
Another day ill die.
Id rather die a thousand deaths,
Than sit alone and cry.....

Shine

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 05:18:10 GMT

Take my hand, and hold it tight.
For your love, ill always fight.
Sing to me, in the sweetest voice.
To love me now, is all your choice.
Come what may, the love i feel.
Feelings are fake, but this one is real.
Look at me, and you will see.
The craziness, that we could be.
Darkness blindes the world i know.
Untill the day that i might grow.
Hold me tight or let me go.
The feelings i feel, i do not show.

If you let me go its fine.
Another day i guess ill shine.

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 14:45:16 GMT

well i had my sugery yesterday. .... ouchy it hurts like hell lol
the end
Ash

To a friend of mine....

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 01:44:53 GMT

Broken, as the day im born,
My hearts been bent, ripped, and torn.
Who are you, but another heatache,
Feeling Feel, but all so fake.
Silent hero, of my Forever,
Abandon your friendship, i would never.
Cast away, the evil lonely,
happiest life, your one and only.
Shes beautiful, amazing, and really kind,
shes everything you want, and a strong mind.
I hope the love, that you hold tight,
you never let go, without a fight.

<3,
Ash

The Covent (kick aus)

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 02:52:10 GMT

Well today was pretty fun. I actually came to school on time today.. i am proud of myself. lol. I got up... by myself without someone (cough my mom or amanda) waking me up. whoo thank peewee hurman for alarm clocks, hehe. After school i went to the Manga Club meeting and we decided on T-shirt Designs and we played Duck Duck goose, or mike would say Mongoose lmao. then Billy, Mike, and Me all climbed into Marylins Boyfriend Joshes tiny car and we looked like clows in a mini car :P, we went to Mcdonalds and got some food, Shannon (guy) was there and we all got yelled at for being to loud... stupid lezbian blonde lady. i took a bunch of pictures and stuffs. We then Ventured our way to wendys and chatted with my mom for a few mins and dropped off our shit in the wendys jeep. we then walked out happy asses over to the movie theater to see the Covent, (which ruled) but before entering we played some Fast and the Furious games and i got some pretty wicked stickers. we went into the movie and the beging totally kicked ass. then 10 mins into the movie, we hurd voices coming from down below and WHOa there was stacy and christy lol. Christy got mad for .. something and went and sat away from us, then the movie was done and we waited for the credits and took picha, hehe. then... went to Wendys and waited for my mom to get off work for a ride and we all sqwished into the wendys jeep, ( billy, mike, my mom, and I) Stacy and christys mom picked them up. we had a nice drive and yeah went picked up pizza and yeah.. drove them home and went home and ate pizza and watched Without a Trace (cuz that show rules).

The end

Thu, 31 Aug 2006 21:09:47 GMT

So today is Thursday, the 31st. I went to school today and had a rather nice day. My friend Max is getting on everyones nerves and kinda mine also. My boyfriend Billy really dont like Max at all lol. My friend Brent (billys older brother) likes my friend Stacy, but Stacy has a boyfriend in maine who she loves way alot. Brent is crushed, and its sad. But Max keeps messing with Stacy but grabbin her ass and stuff and Stacy dun like it, and Brent got all up in Max's Face and so Max prolly wont touch Stacy no more lol. Well anyways.... Billy was supposed to come over today after school but i had a doctors appointment :(. I found out i have to get surgery. It sucks ass. Iv never had surgery, besides my wrist. Im talking to stacy right now on aim lol (ashleyfrary <<< me) but ya lol. I think stacy is comin over tonight and were gunna go to brent and billys tomaorw morning. :P um...... idk what else to write, there isnt much to write.

Ashley

Why do i love him

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 04:52:17 GMT

Somethings rong :(, how can i stop this maddness in my heart? i truely deeply love someone, but he found our entire relationship.... an obsession. Obsession? wow i never hurd that befor, how is what we had an obsession? it felt so real, even though i know him and i will never be again, i cant stop loving him, and it hurts so bad that he thinks what we had wasnt real.Whats rong with me? everytime i feel like im finally going to be happy,things change. i find the guy thats amazing, we have so much in common and when i look into his eyes i can see his whole life flash infront of my eyes. y is that i always get dumped for the beautifull girls? y cant i be beautifull, for once in my life id like to actually be wanted, to be truely loved, to just be hugged tightly and lied to and tell me everything will be ok, even tho its not all ok. i just want some hope, seriously one little glimps of hope. im sick of dreaming of him and wishing he hadnt made up that lame ass excuse to leave me. all i can think of is him, whenever i see him i cant help but to feel empty inside, when i talk to him i feel empty inside. i just dont want to be here anymore, and i know that sounds very emo, and thats how i feel, unloved, alone, and sick of life.....

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 01:06:17 GMT

So yeah, topic of the night. Love... what is love to you?

Love to me is everything that gives me reason to live. Some people make me think love isnt real and that nothing can hold love together long enough to make it real, honest, trustworthy love. Iv been with the most wonderfull guy in the entire world, careing, trustworthy, honest (most of the time :P, but some things just werent ment to be i guess. Iv also been with the worst of the bunch, lieing, cheating, abusive guys who use girls for sex (even if she dont want it) and money and security like a pillow to catch them when they fall. Those kinds of people are useless in the world. Tell me ur opinion on love.....

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 20:32:31 GMT

New school sucks, i see people i know and iv met some new people, but pretty much everyone has changed or kinda ignore me. I see them walking in the hall and i see them @ lunch and it just dont seem like they want me around :(, its alright i guess, i mean people change life goes on diffrently and it sucks sometimes. I sit with Sarah @ lunch now, her and her bf Boomer, hes kewl i have him in Intensive reading, along with his 2 brothers who are nice also. I took some pictures today, soon ill have prolly a million by the end of the year lol.

Boomer and Sarah eating lunch

Boomer

Jeremy C.

1st day of School

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 21:14:26 GMT

Yet another 9th grade year for me, oh what joy it bring me. I got lost 3 times looking for stupid ass tech class. Fucking mrs seagave Embarassed the shit out of me, she made me stand in front of the entire class and pretend to play the fucking guitar.... GAHHHH i hate being in front of people. Next semester i got speech :O:O What the hell am i going to do, i can not talk serious in front of large groups ima Die.

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 04:16:38 GMT

Today.... today i woke up at like 9:30am because i couldnt sleep at all. Idk y though i mean i havent really slpet well in the past week, it sucks. School starts next week, im kinda bummed because i havent had the best summer:(. My orientation is on wednessday though. I worked today, 5-8 (rediculous hours) we got a new guy, hes kewl, today was his first day and he already hates Jackline lmao. They got into it and he bout smacked her ... wow twas a tense night. :P, I got my nails done... blah lame, i talked to Ayla from melbourne.... blha shes gunna come here next weekend hopefully. I hope people come on Saturday, i want to have one friggin relaxing day with all my friends at daytona lagoon, i know only like 3 people r 4 sure going but idk about the others. well idk wut else to write about, someone effin comment on my dame Journal or sumthing GESH ... im bored

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 03:06:49 GMT

Today was boreing as is everyday day usually. I went to abbys on wednessday night and just got home today. We sat at her house pretty much the whole day thursday and today we went to winn-dixie so she could look ate her magazine and try to embarass me, brent was there and i talked to him a bit. We caught Votran and road it through oak hill and didnt know where we were going but sumhow ended up at wendys. Robert did not seem very happy at all and neither did Jose... *rolls eyes, hmmmm i wonder y, lol. My mom droped abby off at home and i came home and.... here i am, bored as all hell doing absolutely nothing important at all. I work tomaorw 12-7 cuz someone called in and so now im working ( i hate day shifts ). I work sunday 5-12 Dining room GAH evil valcum of maddness, we need a new one lol. meh well, THE END!

SHITTY DAYZ

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 15:21:57 GMT

Today is a shitty ass day. Thismorning @ like 1ish James comes over.... we broke up suposidly because he dont have his life streight, but the real reason is that im 16 and i got held back 3 years and im a fucking loser. meh w/e i guess, life goes on. i really liked him tho i mean he was there as a friend and as a boyfriend, he said he will always be there for me and its not over forever, but i know that he wont always be there because all guys say that shit. I wish i could just find one fucking guy that can be there for good and not care about age and grades and all that lame ass shit, because thats not who a person is inside. Im not a loser all the time, only when it comes to school, i give up to easily and i just dont understand things, or i get distracted. Other then school im a great person, so iv hurd from friends who appreciate me listening and being there, amybe they r lieing to make me feel better GAH why cant people tell the fucking truth for once, i feel like i cant trust anyone anymore...

unfinished poem

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 17:44:17 GMT

When the rain falls,
I cry alone.
Then the world see,
i am unknown.
Another face,
but in the crowd.
The silence breaks,
i scream out loud.
I walk alone,
an empty shell.
A lonely girl,
locked in this hell.
Skin as white,
as a full moon.
She could die,
very soon.
She sees a light,
shine from her eyes.
Its pure, and warm,
not full of lies.

.....

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 23:22:25 GMT

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 23:21:07 GMT

Today was kinda boringish, lol. i woke up @ like 1:00 and cleaned my room tip top lmao. James was suposed to come over but he had to work @ 7am so he went to sleep :(, thats ok hes coming over tomaorw hehe. I stayed @ abbys house the night before last, we watched this extremely sad movie... i cried cuz it reminded me of .... somehting really not discuable right now hehe. Abby is a really great friend and i worry about her sometimes, i mean she hold onto this fucking loser named marcus who lives in tampa, and he hasnt called her in 3 months. i keep telling her to move on and find someone new but she wont cuz hes suposidly "Perfect for her" lmao. Amanda came home thismorning balling her eyes out :(. i felt so bad, i cant beleive she puts up with Dan i mean hes a fucking asshole and he treats her like shit. she wont talk to me about it so i guess i cant do anything to help. My friend Jordan Rice is freakin out on me cuz im dating james, he says that james is a bad choice and that i should find someone better and that if i continue dating james he wont ever talk to me... fuck him. If he was really my friend nothing would make him not wanna talk to me ever again... unless i killed his cat or somehting lol. but seriously if anyone dosnt like me being with james i dont care cuz nothing anyone says will make me leave him, he makes me feel like im somebody. the only way i would leave him is if he left me.

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 01:16:56 GMT

i just stabbed my hand, how retarted am i? gosh i was fucking trying to get brownies out of the pan and slipped and the knife went streight into my hand, im waiting for my mom to come take me to the hospital. it dont hurt its just bleeding everywhere. AHAHAHAH im so stupid, and a lil dizzy

Tue, 04 Jul 2006 21:34:24 GMT

a memory is the past,
life moves on way to fast.
for now i remember the fun we had.
its gone now and i am sad.
why cant we be together, the question i wanted to know.
but im my mind i didnt care, because we could not grow.
life moves on, still to fast.
but what we had, is in the past.
it wasnt much, but i still had fun.
ill always remember it, untill the day im done.
forever more, ill be here for you,
a great friend, loyal and true.
a memory in the past,
life moves on... not so fast.

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 13:34:30 GMT

I found out something today, well yesterday. I am nobody, its not that i have no-one its that i am no-one. I cant look in the mirror and see me anymore, i dont know why but im not me, iv faded into nothing. not any fragment of my old self exists... and thats ok. Iv been feeling really deep lately, like there is something or someone out there and i must find it. I guess the life that i have right now, isnt as bad as it could be, the only problem is the random flashbacks and thats what brings me down most of my days. I cant stand to remember my past, i wish i could have stoped it from happening but im going to try not to think of the past and focuse on my future. Sometimes i wonder what life would be like if i had just let him do it, would things be better? or worse? guess ill never know. I hate being alone, i hate the feeling of emptiness but iv grown used to it. its the worst feeling ever, to have no-one to hold you when u need a hug, no-one to spend the forth of july with, no-one to be there when you break down, friends are there, but not fully there, they say they r there but they dont care as much as u want them to. I hate the forth of july, my family is going out on the boat on the river to watch fireworks and swim and have a blast, id rather die than get back on that boat the nats nearly killed me last time. im just going to sit home and watch the fireworks from my window or front yard. Only 4 weeks left till i go home, i cant wait, im counting down the days woot woot. I cant wait to see all my friends and my family, only for a week tho :( i want to move home so baddly, but that wont ever happen i dont think. I gotta fucking work today @ noon, AHHHHHHH i hate day shifts!!!!! lol

MEH today

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 19:21:03 GMT

And life just keeps getting shittier... I try to get someone who will never look at me and love me. I try not to bring my hopes up when things get good because i know that they will only get worse in time. I dont know why i let myself hurt the way i do but i cant help it. How can i feel these feeling for him when i know all he thinks about at night is her and ways to get her back? sometimes i cant breath bacause the emptiness is ripping apart my lungs like a sheet of paper. the emptiness feels as if a hunger, but not a hunger for food, but for love. I long for that sweet feeling of someone to hold me and love me as id love them back. I thought i could have that with him but, he clings to her, and i understand that. Someday ill find love again, i know that and i dont mind waiting, i just really wanted to be with him. life goes on tho.

I gotta work today 5-8, GAH so tired..... I cant wait till july 28th MICHIGAN AHHHHHH i cant wait a whole week of homeness. Next year in school ima work my fucking ass off because i wanna move the fuck out of this house and i need my shit strightend up school wise. I got Thursday off, there is an MSI concert but i cant go cuz i dont got a ride and its to late to get a ticket now. Jeremys going.... JEW lol. I went shopping yesterday b4 work, Blah blah blah, came to work @ 5, stayed till 12. came home cleaned my room a bit didnt go to bed till like, eh 7am. woke up @ like 2:30pm, now im here online. BLAH..............

Alone....

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 03:56:35 GMT

Nobody sees the Ashley that is me,
The knife in my hand just might set me free.
But when the day ends im still alone,
A face in the crowd always unknown.
Never happy an empty shell,
locked inside a lonely hell.
My life is a story look into my eyes,
youll see the pain and all the lies.
I tell you now the hurt is strong,
the life i live is far to long.
My name is Ashley is how it begins,
a secret life filled with sins.
A good little girl, turned bad so fast,
Who would have knew she woudlnt last.

Im sitting in my room listening to music wondering why everything i do makes my life worse. I wish i could just be happy for like one day, no arguing no fighting no drama. The lonleiness is ripping apart my chest like my heart is begining slow down and the veins r going to burst. I get my hopes up so fast and then it smashes to the ground like a person jumping off a 22 story building for suicide... SMASH! That feeling wont go away no matter what i do. I feel almost numb right now....

Get to know me?

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 18:42:30 GMT

So lets get to know each other...

>Today is: Saturday

>The time is: 2:42pm

>Name: Ashley Marie Frary

>Any nicknames? Ashes, Skittles

>What are your embarassing nicknames? Frosty (damn u robert lol )

>Age: 16

>Height: 5'5 ish

>Hair color: burgandy (natural brown)

>Eye color: blue

>Heritage: German

>Favorite Food: Twizlers, gummie bears

>Favorite Drink: Sprite with fruit punch

>Favorite Smell: Axe or body grar ;)

>Favorite Book: Green Angle

>Favorite Movie: Underworld Evolution

>Favorite Actor/ Actress: Angelina Jolee (sexy)

>Favorite TV Show: that 70's show, Family Guy

>Whats the best moment of your life thus far? meeting a really great guy, even tho i didnt get to stay with him.

>Whats the worst moment of your life thus far? moving to Florida

>Biggest regret? haveing sex with a guy who is an asshole

>Biggest accomplishment? getting a job, even to it sucks

>Would you lie to someone to protect them? depends on what im protecting them from

>Do you trust people? sometimes

>If not, why? its hard to trust people when uv been hurt so many times

>Ever betrayed a friend? yeah

>If so, what was the reason? i ddint keep a secret and big fight, lotta yelling

>Was it worth it? no

>What is your biggest dream? to find my true love and have a happy life not being alone

>Whats your biggest nightmare? be alone forever

>What was your most embarassing moment? there r so many lol

>Do you care what other people think of you? not really

>Why or why not? cuz if they think down on me cuz the way i look then they dont deserve me to even care about them in any way

>When people give you their advice, do you listen? if its good advice

>Do you think your better than other people? no

>Have you ever spread rumors? saddly yes and i feel really bad about it

>Ever gossiped? eh yes but no more

Questions about Love, Sex and everything in between:
>Are you a virgin? saddly no

>If no, do you regret losing it? yes

>If yes, are you waiting for a specific reason? ------

>Guys: if a girl is waiting to have sex, would you date her anyway?

>Girls, if a guy is waiting to have sex, would you date him anyway? yes, because sex isnt everything and love grows with TIME

>Whats the best pick up line you ever got? cant remember

>Did it actually work? i dont think so

>Whats the worst pickup line you've ever got? cant remember

>How did you respond? cant remember

>Are you a one-night stand kind of person? no

>Do you prefer relationships or flings? relationships

>Guys: a girl gets pregnant, do you support her or tell her to abort it?

>Girls: u get pregnant, do you weigh the guys opinion in matters of aborton? d tell him and if hes happy about it then id keep it but if he isnt going to be there then i dont want to be a lonely mother.

>How young is too young to have sex? 15 and younger

>Do you have to be in love to have sex? yeah i think u should be in love

>Do you like anyone? yes

>Is it a secret crush? kinda ish

>If so, who is it? i aint tellin :P

>Are you in love right now? no, but i wanna be, the feeling of being loved and loving someoen is the greatest feeling ever

>Could this person be "the one" ? maybe

>Do you believe in Soul Mates? yes

>How many ex's do you have? 5

>Do you take past relationships as learning experiences or mistakes? learning experiences

>What is one relationship you regret? my 2nd and 3rd

>Whats one relationship you wish you would have pursued? my 1st one

>If someone unexpected asked you out today, would you say yes? depends on who it is and how well i know them

>If yes, why? if i like them it woudl be stupid to say no
if i dont like them i woudls till give it a shot, love grows

>If no, why?

>Thoughts on abortion? depends on if the parents r responible enough

>Thoughts on euthenasia? huh

>Thoughts on politics? eh... iffy

>Thoughts on war? Retarted

>Thoughts on genetic engeneering? kinda interesting how scientists play god

>Thoughts on Reglion and God? dont beleive anymore

>Other thoughts you have? shoudl i even try anymore?

>Do you believe you are a good person? i dont think i am

>Do you believe you always do the right thing? no

>A bum asks you for money, what do you say? prolly ignor him and wak away cuz he scares the living crap out of me lol

>Do you judge people before you know them? no because looks dont matter to me, and i hate people who judg u on the outter apearance

Senarios:
>2 ppl in a room: do you talk to the hot/dumb one or smart/plain one? smart/ plain

>A guy is drunk and falls:do you laugh out loud or ask him if he is ok? ask him if hes ok then laugh at him lol

>Drunk girl at a party: take her upstairs or make sure she gets home ok? take her upstairs ;) lol jp

A little more about you...:
>Do you believe in love? yes
>Do you believe in yourself? no
>Do you believe in others? yes

Last Questions:
>Are you an honest person all of the time? no
>Were you entirely honest in this survey? yes
>Did you enjoy the survey? yea i did cuz im bored

Razzles!

Tue, 30 May 2006 05:39:54 GMT

I went to razzles tonight, it was so much fun. my frined isreal was suposed to come with me but nooooo he forgot and went to his frined house, damn jew. but i went with zach instead, ruth came and a couple other people, HOLLI CAME woot woot, that rocks cuz she rocks lol. i danced so much everyone was all sweety and gross but i fucking loved it! :P i danced with some black guy i didnt even know lol. MADDNESS i tell u MADDNESS! i might go again next monday but idk my mom said she isnt going to give me a ride but i think @ some point she will change her mind, if not ill be sad cuz then i cant go. but yeah... anyways other then that im extremely bored and its like 1 33 am but im not tired yet. im going to go on myspace prolly and mess around with that junk. Man..... im so lonely lol, everyone at the club had a boyfrined or a dance partner (exept that guy but he left lol) and so i just kinda danced with ruth which isnt the finnest cuz she only dances for like 5 mins then stops and need to rest and i like to dance for @ least a half an hour stright maybe longer (unless i gotta p :P)

I love my kitten, she fucking rocks and shes so adorable. Nurata... my mom said that name is lame and she wanted to name her tabby, how retarted is that, like half the cats in the world have that name :P. or fluffy but that will be my snakes name, *twiddles fingers, muahahahaha FLUFFY WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!! lol. well im off to myspace

The end